I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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