she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
