I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
