idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
