Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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