i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
