I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
