It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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