it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
