We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
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It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pants are for mortals
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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