end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
