the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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