I think I won the penis lottery.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize