so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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