She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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