So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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