yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
