Ambien. No doubt about it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
