no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
