He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
