yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
