so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how drunk are you?
Several
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
