please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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