even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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