gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
