you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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