Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
