They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
