Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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