I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is Oprah even human
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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