Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
