At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize