Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
bring money and cleavage
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
