And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
