this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
