I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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