he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
