yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
