So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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