He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
