ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.