He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
