Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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