I want to make a zoo with you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
