My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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