she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
