there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
