Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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