There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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