At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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