So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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