Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
