It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
