Joe is yelling at the trees again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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