when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
