Me too!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
