At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bring me that man meat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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