i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My ass is underappreciated
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
