Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize