I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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