Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
