Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
