I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
At least make sure they are 18
Why
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
