please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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