weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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