he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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