Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
